My Tuition Dollars at Work

by Brent Armstrong

White Devil FA VI 5.11 A4+
Black Canyon of the Gunnison, CO
March 2001

So historically I have been pretty reticent about sharing my adventures, but I have been noticing a growing number of people sharing tales on the web with the hope of increasing community and fun, not in the spirit of spraying. It is with this spirit of friendship and HOPING SOMEONE WILL REPEAT THIS, that I share the following.

March of 2001 was my last semester of college. I had spent the previous seasons climbing more than is healthy for school/relationships/and a normal life (whatever normal is). As my college days wound down, I was looking for some kind of project to express myself and what I had learned...not in the academic realm, but rather in my favorite crag...Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park.

Winter ascents are not commonplace in the Black, not unheard of, but not common. I believe John Middendorf soloed the Dragon one winter, Deuce and Mugs Stump climbed the Hallucinogen Wall seasons back, Mike Pennings and Mark Synott had done the second ascent of Paint it Black one winter, and I had hiked out past Topher and Patience Donahue on the Hallucinogen too earlier that season. Maybe there are more, but usually you aren't waiting in line in the winter.

I tried for weeks to line up partners for something down there, the excuses flowed like Yosemite Falls in the Spring. It became apparent to me that the only person I could get to sign on was myself. This actually made route selection a little harder, but also tempted me in my sleep too. I had already climbed the Hallucinogen in warm temps, I didn't really want to rap down South Chasm Wall, the Painted Wall just didn't do it for me for some reason, so that left Paint it Black, the Plunge, or Black Planet...all on North Chasm View Wall.

Paint it Black sported bolted belays, modern thin aid, and a nice line, the Plunge didn't look like much of a wall climb to me, and Black Planet no one knew anything about. Happening across a topo of Black Planet at Neptune's perked my interest. It was a Jim Beyer route with no bolts or rivets anywhere on it!!! No one had repeated it, few even knew where the line went, I felt the adventure meter rising and decided it was the one.

Skiing into the Black with my sled was a nice warm-up. Listening to my CD player I stopped once, and found some wolf/coyote looking creature had snuck up to within about 5 feet of me. Taking it as a good omen I continued on. Collapsing at the top of the Cruise Gully the enormity of my project fell away below me. "What the hell am I doing here? Why not Cancun or Jamaica, at least Red Rocks could have posed as a climbing trip" My load was large and I shuttled two smaller loads to the raps, reunited them, rapped down, then split the loads again and approached the base of the Air Voyage ramp. Darkness met me just as I had deployed my Yellow Submarine (the ledge) from a tree.

The next morning brought a sore body and LARGE snow storm. I shuffled down to the river to fill my 6 gallons of water, figuring on 5 climbing days, with the sixth as my backup. When that was done I crawled back to camp, racked up, self medicated, and tried not to eat too many iced animal cookies. I had brought a book with me, but Mutant Message from Down Under took less time to read than a hard aid pitch takes to lead. Staring at the first 400 feet of easy 5th class slabs I laughed at the suffering fool I had become.

My 3rd day of the project saw me soloing the easy first two pitches, fixing, then DRAGGING that large damned swine off my harness to each anchor. The 3rd pitch was a short easy chimney that fell quickly. The next pitch on the Beyer topo was marked A4 and seemed to traverse left into nowhere. I rapped and cleaned the chimney and decided there was too much sun left to call it good. Standing at my anchor I saw a large loose flake, and fixed head 15 feet up. Haggling between my intuition and the topo I decided I had noticed a better way than old Jimmy had gone. Tension traversing down and left I swung between beaks/heads and hooks until I got a yellow TCU and was able to penji into an A1 crack system and share the belay with the Beyer route. Enough for the day, back into Yellow Submarine, my medication was loooong overdue.

Jugging up the next day I looked at the Beyer route above me, thin nailing and bad rock. I could hear Beyer laughing at me, "A route worth dying for" is his mantra, not mine. Luckily the ghosts and demons of the Black yell a little louder in my head than Jim's voice. I could almost hear Johnnie Copp saying "step into the void and cast off limiting thoughts". Then I glanced to my left and saw another ghost of a Black Canyon route, Merlin, put up by Mugs and Robbie Slater, proud ghosts indeed! "Piss on Jim B., I'll step into the void!" With that I pocketed my topo and cast away into the unknown. A bit of hooking lead to 5.9ish free climbing, made better by the awesome edging power of my Trango Extremes. I hauled that one, and felt a bit unsettled about my decision to cast off into virgin territory. "Would this line just dead end? Am I going to be screwed and have to bail????" The next pitch started out with easy .7ish climbing easing at the top and ending at a natural ledge I named, "Cuddle the Swine." My piggy was a fine bedmate indeed.

The next morning brought bad weather and forced the administration of more of my "cataract" medicine. I feel uneasy on every wall when I am pinned up in the ledge and not moving higher, but this was even more ominous than usual. More easy free climbing brought me to a point where I met the Air Voyage around pitch 7(????). The original Air Voyage goes through an OW at about 5.8. When I climbed the Air Voyage we took a 5.8 variation that traversed under an upside down L shaped roof. This time though, feeling proud (and wearing free shoes) I cast off directly toward the belay on some WAAAY runout terrain. The next pitch was shared with Black Planet and was marked "5.10+ sporty runouts". Yes sure indeed! Summoning much will power, and after much down climbing I reached the A2 roof at the top of the pitch. The Yellow Submarine was deployed and self medication ensued.

I was greeted the next morning with more runout 5.10, with the added bonus of bouncing off the ledge below when I hit it. Just like the Fish says, "It's what's for Breakfast!"

Luckily things went my way and I soon found myself staring at the crux A4+ pitch of the Black Planet. I do not know how in the hell Beyer spotted this pitch from the ground, and I have NEVER NEVER NEVER seen a finer display of craftsmanship, determination, and insanity in my life...in any climbing situation! Honestly if I put this pitch up I would have put at least two rivets in it. Jim B. did not. 80 feet of the thinnest heading (like flipping MANY #1 and #2 heads) I ever hope to experience. Not the Yosemite flare or groove variety, but the "this piece of poo might hold a sneeze variety." Much fear, much loathing...finally a .75 beyond a loose block, NIRVANA!!! The pitch took A LOOONG time to lead, and is entirely fixed. NOTE TO FUTURE PARTIES: These heads are bad, and will not stand the test of time. 1/3 of them are from the FA and are already 11 years old. Placements may not be sustainable, many are VERY delicate, exercise caution. Toward the top of the pitch there is already a string of 3 dead heads in a row from the FA. I thought I would have to drill here but was able to use smoke and mirrors to squeek through.

The next day brought more storms and forced me to stare down at the proudest pitch I have ever seen ALL day long. I must have tripled my recommended daily allowance of glaucoma medicine.

The next morning I was excited as I climbed the antithesis of the pitch before...A4- beautiful head seam. I got a shitty TCU in the middle, so I wasn't worried about using my pig as a crash pad. Nightmare A2 crawling brought me to a belay behind a large loose block. Then the rain came and I hid in the Yellow Submarine the rest of the day.

I screwed up the next day and had to down climb/down aid a new pitch that dead ended, and was forced to cast away into Beyer's 5.11 pitch. Went pretty quick, and I was psyched for the summit. I established a new pitch next that is a complete rightward traverse that finds your feet dangling below a roof with LOTS of air below, and ends with OW groveling. I was still punching for the summit. Unfortunately my lead line got caught on a BIG lower out and I had to cut 70 feet off. Crikey mate!!! Fear and a bivi ensued as I used the last of my medicine.

The next day I cast away up a varied pitch of free climbing, guano mantling, aid, and magic leaving me 130 feet from the summit. I cast off to free climb to the summit but a section of 11d (when it goes free) left me crying, laughing, and cursing all at the same time. Another bivi.

My 9th??? morning on the wall started with yelling from the South Rim. Holy shit, someone knows I'm alive, someone cares, a bro is hear to refill my prescription. WRONG! None of the above, just a ranger wondering why I was now 3 days late. "Piss off Park pig" I thought as I drilled two rivets to bypass the V4 pegmatite. The last pitch sucked and had horizontal chimneying that everyone in the Black just loves. I topped out with 3 feet left on my cut in half lead rope. I fixed, untied and walked away in hopes of returning to my normal self, booze, medicine and maybe a Western State freshman coed.

In the end I called my debacle the White Devil, for lots of reasons, but you'll have to buy me a beer to hear that. I hope someone repeats this and tell me how light I am. It is a typical Black Canyon route, lots of suffering, lots of rewards. 9 1/2 pitches new ground, 6 1/2 shared with the Black Planet, project was completely unsupported, and a very fond memory. There is a topo in the Williams guidebook.

Cast off limiting thoughts, and step into the void! Maybe Lao Tzu and those Black Canyon Demons won't laugh so loud the next time there in my nightmares.

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